* Did he lie to you about a future, a while ago ? ** Does he have a divorce, Married women looking sex love and relationship hurt ending to past relationships history ? *** Is his work situations okay, money, loans, possible loss of or not liking that job ? **** Stuck mentally on someone ? ***** Are there issues between you two, open, that have not be resolved ? Otherwise, 4 years unless you are just coming through college years which school for each person, career start is the most important subject to tend to is way too. Someone is just 'hanging out', some friend ( you with benefits ) to have a date, sleep over with IMO, a year is good enough to really know all aspects of someone's character, to highs, lows, responsibility, intelligence, emotional maturity, sexual compatibility, money issues, religion , getting over an 'ex', etc., ' I don't know ' is the answer of a. The emotionally holidays are around corner, spending money, family events, etc., I would write out where you are, why you admire him, respect him, think you him on paper and give it to him with a sit down meeting. Tell him he has 30 days to make up his mind, or this 'hanging out' is over by next month . you're losing your looks and hanging out with someone who apparently could almost really care less about it as well. Time to grow up, Find your truth, the words or move on and not lie, waste your time.